If you’re working too hard and you’re a woman, it’s your fault.
For any wife/mother/woman entrepreneur out there who is working 90+ hours per week I have a message for you. It’s probably your fault (I know it’s mine).
This drives me crazy – especially because I am SO guilty of it! Has the role of women in society completely changed in the past 50 years? Sure! Well – kind of.
You’re working hard to build a business from home. Maybe your partner helps you or maybe he/she works outside the home. The days of the woman’s role being strictly caregiver, cook and bottle-washer have gone, right? Or have they?
It’s accepted now that women entrepreneurs are a major force in the business world, and certainly there are a lot of partners who are doing their fair share of the housework/cooking/chores/pet-walking, and so on.
So why is it that many business women (myself included) feel guilty when their partner is picking up the slack on the home front? Or when visitors arrive unexpectedly she feels compelled to clean the house from top to bottom and constantly “be available” to provide for their needs when she would normally be working?
Most people nowadays will forgive dust bunnies and sticky surfaces in a home where the woman works full-time. So where is this “I have to do everything for everyone else” coming from?
I don’t like to point fingers, but look in the mirror. Yes that’s you, lady. It has to be. Nobody else but YOU expects you to be superwoman and ‘do it all’. And if you do have someone in your life who is dissing you about sloppy ‘hospital corners’ on your bedsheets just slap them, even if it’s your mom. Especially if it’s your mom – because she should know better.
Growing a home business is a challenge for anyone – man or woman alike. Supporting a family at the same time is an even bigger challenge. Field trips and vet bills cost money.
So how do you expect yourself to make the money you need to make if you keep interruption yourself every few minutes with “Ooops – I’d better throw in some washing” or “Will you LOOK at that pan from last night’s dinner – yuck!”
So stop it. Just knock it off. Give yourself “off business hours” to do your personal/family work, and get the whole family involved. How we do it is we plan a fun family trip that we can go on if everyone does their homework and their chores, picks up after themselves, and doesn’t complain too much. Water parks and frozen yogurt are a great motivator in our house.
So the weak link here would be me. I am the one who cares about a stray cobweb at the top of our 20+ foot vaulted ceiling (gasp!) or a muddy footprint in a mountain home with 5 people, 4 pets and plenty of out-of-town visitors.
As a woman in business I’m going to give you the advice Wayne gives me. Let it go. Don’t sweat it. The people who love you either won’t notice, won’t care or won’t remember how perfect your house is.
What they will remember is that serious party you threw when you broke your first 6 figures in business. (Don’t forget to invite me – I promise I won’t notice the paw-marks on your car windows if you’ll ignore my slightly chipped nail polish).
What do you think? Have women’s roles changed, or just expanded? How do you find balance between your career and your family life?
P.S. If you’re suffering from “too-much-to-do-itis” maybe joining our new Success Circle coaching program would help you get a handle on that.